There seems to exist a common burden among nearly all men employed as merchant mariners; the crushing weight of the disintegration of personal relationships and the slow degradation of mental and emotional wellness. It should not come as a shock as, much like prisoners, these men have been separated from all that enriches life. Their condition seems to be comorbid with an outright denial of the operation of this process.
Never have I experienced fear, loneliness, frustration, and aggression as palpable as that displayed by my shipmates. The desperation and deep depression are thinly veiled by a perpetual struggle for power and for recognition of the victors of this battle; those who have achieved the highest level of masculinity and domination. The war is justified by a general acceptance that ‘this is how it is in the business.’
This tiny floating microcosm could not more accurately illustrate man’s failure to govern himself or to institute and protect any system of equity.
I have an arbitrary hypothesis that, were psychological testing performed on a set of ten men immediately before and after one month in prison and upon another set of ten preceeding and following a one month stint on a towing vessel, the results of the two data sets, having had their labels removed, would be nearly indistinguishable. Both environments force a subjective loss of personal power and individuality which, when combined with a mind-numbing sense of monotony, creates psychological trauma at levels that nearly always result in depression, anxiety, and aggression; all products of the route emotion that is fear.
M
thestrangestlifeivelived 